


system/BOOT.Neon_Genesis_Evangelion_final(364745441).info

by SaltinesAndPeanutButter



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Gen, i haven't watched the rebuilds yet tbh, still debating on whether or not to add Mari, the characters play the same roles more or less, this is gen but there will be relationships, will probably add more tags later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2020-12-14 00:02:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21006368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaltinesAndPeanutButter/pseuds/SaltinesAndPeanutButter
Summary: A rewrite of Evangelion's 26 episodes that caters to my mom's interests.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, I based the title off of that song from the Steven Universe movie, don't @ me. Also I know this 1st chapter isn't much different than the 1st episode but I promise it'll change more with subsequent chapters.

"Dammit! I can't believe my phone died at a time like this." Misato cursed, quickly refocusing her eyes on the road.

Shinji stood on the sidewalk, phone in hand. No matter how many times he restarted his battered white iPhone 5C, the signal bars at the top of the screen remained blank.

He opened his messages to make sure he hadn't missed anything. She was already running late.

He was greeted with the picture Misato had sent him of her on vacation somewhere that she had failed to specify. She wore a yellow tank top which her breasts were spilling out of. A sloppily drawn black arrow pointed to them.

An all-encompassing buzzing vibration filled the air which compelled Shinji to close his eyes. He sensed a presence; it was unyielding and hard yet somehow comforting, like a very firm mattress. It felt maternally extraterrestrial.

It sharply left and Shinji's eyes snapped open.

  
He locked his phone and turned around upon hearing a rumbling noise from far behind. A...creature, probably about 250 feet tall, emerging from between the mountains. Before he knew it, the creature was right next to him smashing a car parked on the side of the road.

Misato's blue Kia Soul sped to the side of the road. She hastily opened the door on the passenger's side.

  
"Get in! I hope I'm not too late." She greeted.

  
Misato summarily mashed the gas pedal with all the strength in her right leg as soon as Shinji closed the door. He struggled to fasten his seat belt as he watched the creature lumber about in the side mirror.

  
Misato was speeding well over the speed limit and within a matter of minutes she had parked in a desolate yet scenic area far away enough from the battle that she felt they could watch in relative safety.

  
Misato leaned out her window with binoculars pressed against her sunglasses. Shinji looked out of the passenger side window, watching a grasshopper bounce over the dirt contentedly.

  
"NO WAY! THEY'RE GONNA USE AN N2 MINE!" Misato yelled while rolling up the automatic windows.

  
She then proceeded to throw herself over Shinji in the nick of time. The force of the explosion tossed the car across the ground like a stone being skipped over water.

  
"You ok?" Misato asked.

  
"Uh, yeah."

  
"We gotta roll the car over." She continued, contorting herself to be able to reach the door handle on the passenger's side, which was now above Shinji's head.

  
They crawled out of the car and after a considerable struggle, the car was right side up.

  
"Thanks, Shinji. You're pretty useful!"

  
"Uh, I guess."

  
For whatever reason, the Kia Soul had sustained minimal damage and seemed to be driveable.

  
"NERV?" Shinji asked upon reading the red letters on the gates Misato was pulling up to.

  
"Yep! It's a secret organization supervised by the UN." She replied, driving onto the platform.

  
"And this is where my father works?"

  
"Yeah, didn't you know about it?"

  
"No! All I was told was that it's important for the future of humankind."

  
"Did he send you an I.D. card?"

  
"Yeah." Shinji replied, reaching into his bag.

  
"Here, start reading this A.S.A.P." Misato advised, holding the NERV guidebook out to Shinji.

  
"Am I going to be working for my father?" He asked after inspecting the cover for a minute.

  
"What am I even saying? He wouldn't've asked me to come here if he didn't need me for something..." He continued.

  
"Sure sounds like you don't get along with your dad! You sound just like me when I was in middle school."

  
***

  
Misato held a hexagonal map in front of her face.

  
"I could've sworn this was the right way..." She lamented as she and Shinji descended down the escalator.

  
"If my damn phone wasn't dead, I'd call Ritsuko..." She muttered.

  
"Sorry! I'm still getting used to this place." She told Shinji a moment later.

  
"Would the chairperson of E-Project, Technical Division 1, Dr. Ritsuko Akagi please contact Captain Misato Katsuragi of Operations Division 1 immediately?" A female voice asked over the intercom.

  
Ritsuko emerged from the pool of LCL, lifting her goggles off of her face.

  
"I can't believe she's lost again!" She grumbled to herself.

  
Ritsuko shrugged on her lab coat and made her way to the place where Misato had gotten lost over and over again. The elevator doors opened to reveal Misato looking as confused as ever.

  
"Oh, hi there Ritsuko!" She stammered.

  
"Why on earth are you lost again? We're short on time and labor, and you've been here for a week already! Honestly, how hard is it to look over a map before you leave?" Ritsuko scolded.

  
"Sorry."

  
"Is he the third child?" Ritsuko asked, pointing to Shinji.

  
"Yeah, according to The Marduk Report." Misato confirmed.

  
"Well, pleased to meet you." Ritsuko greeted.

  
"Uh, sure!"

  
"But he's a lot like his dad. The aloof part, that is."

  
Ritsuko scoffed.

  
"So how's Unit 01 coming along?" Misato asked while they rode the elevator.

  
"It's currently undergoing refrigeration, using the B-Type equipment."

  
"Do you think it's going to work?"

  
"There's a very small chance. To be specific, a 0.0000000009% chance. We're calling it the 09 system."

  
***

  
"Gah!" Shinji screamed when the lights were turned on.

  
"It's...a giant robot!" He exclaimed, flipping through the guidebook for an answer.

  
"You won't find anything about her in there." Ritsuko stated.

  
"Huh?"

  
"This is humankind's ultimate weapon: an Evangelion; Unit 01. It was built here in secret, and it's our last resort." She articulated.

  
"Did my father make this?"

  
"Correct! It's been a while." Gendo announced from a deck many dozens of feet above Shinji's head.

  
Shinji gasped.

  
"We're moving out." Gendo dictated.

  
"What? Unit 00's still in cryostasis!" Misato shouted.

  
"Our intention isn't to use Unit 00." Ritsuko corrected.

  
"We're going to use Unit 01." She continued.

  
"But Rei's still in the hospital! We don't have a pilot!" Misato exclaimed.

  
"Yes we do. He's standing right here."

  
"You can't be serious..." Misato lamented.

  
Ritsuko rolled her eyes. She turned to Shinji.

  
"What's your name?" Ritsuko asked.

  
"Shinji Ikari."

  
"Shinji Ikari, you are going to pilot Unit 01."

  
"What?"

  
"But even Rei took seven months to sync with her eva! It'll be impossible for him! He just got here!" Misato pleaded.

  
"All he has to do is sit in the cockpit. We expect nothing more of him than that."

  
"But-" Misato began.

  
"Listen here. Defeating the Angels is our top priority. There's someone right here who has a chance of syncing with Unit 01. We have to risk it. It's our only option. Don't you understand that, Captain Katsuragi?"

  
"Yes ma'am." Misato resigned.

  
Shinji couldn't believe this. He didn't even have his driver's license and his father was asking him to pilot this?

  
"Wh-why did you ask me to come here?!" Shinji yelled to his father.

  
"You know perfectly well why I asked." Gendo answered.

  
"So you want me to get in this thing and fight?"

  
"Correct."

  
"Why now? I thought you didn't want me anymore!" Shinji questioned through tears.

  
"Because now you can be useful to me."

  
"But why? Why me?"

  
"There's nobody else that can."

  
"No! There's no way! There's no way I can do this! I've never even seen anything like this until today!"

  
"You will do as you are instructed."

  
"But still, there's no way I'm going to be able to do this!"

  
"If you're going to do it, then do it now or get out of my sight." Gendo shouted, giving an ultimatum.

  
The whole building rattled for a brief moment.

  
"Shinji, we're running out of time." Ritsuko urged.

  
"Make up your mind." Misato ordered, gritting her teeth.

  
"This feels so wrong...I came all this way to be yelled at? Why did I even come here?"

  
"What did you expect, Shinji? You were secretly hoping to see your dad, weren't you? He's here now. Don't you want to make him proud?" Misato reasoned.

  
"I know! But I just...can't."

  
Ritsuko narrowed her eyes.

  
"Reconfigure Unit 01's systems for Rei and activate!" She ordered.

  
"I'm not needed after all..." Shinji whispered to himself.

  
The sound of a squeaky hospital bed filled the room.

  
"I forgot how severe Rei's condition really was..." Misato murmured to herself.

  
A girl the same age as Shinji was laying on the bed, stiff as a board. Not moving a muscle; She wore bandages on her chest, her arms, and her forehead. There was gauze over her right eye. An I.V. was inserted into her left arm. Her left eye was looking straight up at the ceiling. Her skin was unnaturally pale. She wore a bright white body suit.

She sat up in bed and immediately began hacking and coughing so deeply and so dryly even Gendo visibly winced. Then came the blood. She was coughing up blood. When the coughs subsided, she began to whimper and cry.

  
NERV HQ shook again, this time harder. The hospital bed collapsed and Rei was left on the floor in a tangle of sheets and wires shivering like a leaf in the wind.

  
A purple plated arm shot out of her restraints and caught falling debris.

  
"No! That's not possible! She shouldn't be able to bypass her restraints like that!" Ritsuko yelled.

  
"She did it to protect...Shinji?" Misato gasped.

  
Shinji sprinted over to the girl.

  
"Are you ok?"

  
She took a breath to answer, but the coughing started up again. Her mouth stained crimson red, while the blood seemed to be rolling off her bodysuit.

  
He propped her up by her shoulders.

  
"Is this better?" Shinji asked fruitlessly. She was still coughing. She was almost completely limp.

  
His left hand felt wet. He removed it from Rei's shoulder blade and looked at it only to find it was absolutely covered in her blood.

  
"I'd be no better than my father if I made her do this for me..." He thought to himself.

  
"I'll do it! I'll pilot it." Shinji declared.

  
***

  
Shinji now found himself in the entryplug. He could see Ritsuko helping Rei onto the collapsed hospital bed. Some nurses ran over to change the bandages on her back.  
The entryplug began filling up with a cold, orange liquid.

  
"What's this stuff?!" He shouted as the filling seemed to hasten.

  
"It's LCL. Once your lungs are filled, your blood will be oxygenated directly. You'll get used to it."

  
The entryplug was now full, and upon hearing Ritsuko's mildly comforting words Shinji exhaled and felt the LCL fill his lungs. It was cold, and somehow it seemed to burn. It wasn't unlike accidentally inhaling chlorine water at a pool.

  
He began to breathe faster, but that only seemed to make the burning sensation stronger.

  
"It burns." Shinji managed to croak out.

  
"It won't-"

  
"Come on and man up!" Misato urged.

  
"It won't burn for much longer. Take deep and slow breaths." Ritsuko finished.

  
Ritsuko and Maya returned to checking Unit 01's vitals. Rows of green bars flashed onto the screen.

  
"This is amazing. I never would have guessed this would go so well!" Ritsuko observed.

  
"These sync levels are unprecedented." Maya agreed, smiling at Ritsuko.

  
Ritsuko turned around to face Misato.

  
"It's ready." She informed.

  
Misato turned to Gendo for permission.

  
"Can we really do this?" She asked.

  
"We have no other option." He retorted.

  
"Launch Unit 01!" Misato commanded.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright y'all I know it's been like a month since I posted the first chapter but like. I'm a full time student and one of my majors is creative writing. I'm also doing a writing challenge for another fandom so needless to say I'm doing a metric fuckton of writing rn so updates for this may very well continue to be slow.

Shinji awoke with a start.

  
White tiles. Light shining in from the window to his left.

  
He was in the hospital.

He sighed. 

  
Misato and Ritsuko stood behind a chain link fence.

  
"The damage was much more extensive that I could've predicted with his impressive sync levels." Ritsuko said.

  
Unit 01's busted head was being forklifted.

  
Misato nodded in agreement.

"I never would've guessed he'd end up in the hospital so soon after getting here..." Misato lamented.

  
"He's going to be very hesitant to pilot again..you do realize that, right?"

  
"Yeah."

  
"You've been designated as his handler during his time at NERV. You need to take that job seriously." Ritsuko chastised.

  
"I know, I know."

  
Meanwhile, Gendo sat at a table in a dimly lit room with the rest of Seele's men.

  
They explained that disasters come without warning; "It's the very nature of disasters." They told him. 

  
"Now that the angels have become common knowledge, NERV must take steps to control the way in which this knowledge is received by the general public." One of them said.

  
"It's already been taken care of." Gendo responded.

Misato sat in a folding chair under a tent, fanning herself. Ritsuko stood nearby, sorting papers.

  
Misato flipped from channel to channel on the old CRT TV searching for something more entertaining than the same spokesperson covering the attack from the other day.

  
"I guess we're covering up the truth again." Misato said.

  
"At least the PR people are happy. They finally have something to do." said Ritsuko.

  
"And at least you don't have to deal with their complaining anymore! They're acting so casual about it; they must be well trained."

  
"Everyone at NERV is scared, including them." Ritsuko corrected.

  
"Were NERV and Eva 01 used efficiently?" One of Seele's men asked Gendo.

"Unit 01's repair costs and Unit 00's construction costs are outrageous. Enough to bankrupt several country's economies." Another one said.

  
"We also know you gave Unit 01 to your own son."

  
"How much more time, money, and manpower will you cost us?"

"The human instrumentality project must remain your ultimate priority." The one at the end of the table reminded.

  
"I understand very well that mankind has no time left." Gendo agreed.

  
Shinji stood in the hallway outside his hospital room. He was staring out the window, absent-mindedly looking at the mountainside, until the clatter of a door opening and worn out wheels scraping across the floor ripped him from his trance.

  
A nurse was rolling Rei through the hallway. As the gurney passed Shinji, he noticed Rei's uncovered left eye was fixated on him, the rest of her face making an expression he couldn't parse.

  
Ritsuko and Misato were now being driven back to NERV in one of NERV's vans. RItsuko's phone rung.

She talked for a few minutes, then hung up.

  
"Shinji's woken up." She informed Misato.

  
"How's he doing?"

  
"Well, his memory seems a tad muddled..."

  
"Is it contamination?!" Misato exclaimed.

  
"You're way ahead of yourself. Contamination is a worst case scenario. In any case, if that does happen, it'll be me who'll have to deal with that, not you."

  
"You're right. He did have a pretty hectic day, after all."

  
"It's difficult to not feel sorry for him. I know his cerebellum took a lot of stress."

  
Misato looked out the window. She could still see various parts of Unit 01 being forklifted.

  
"Hey, if the Evas and the city operate at their full potential, we might make it out of this unscathed!" Misato said, turning around.

  
"You're such an optimist."

  
"Hey! Sometimes you need a little wishful thinking just to get through the day!"

  
"I see your point. It's nice to know someone has a positive attitude around here."

  
Misato picked Shinji up from the hospital.

  
"We're headed back to NERV to get your living arrangements straightened out." She told Shinji.

  
They stood on the first floor, waiting for the elevator.

  
When the elevator opened, there stood Gendo Ikari.

  
Gendo's eyes widened ever so slightly, and Shinji turned his head away.

  
Gendo averted his gaze to the elevator buttons, mashing one that would take him upwards to another floor.

  
"They don't want to live together?" Ritsuko questioned through Misato's walkie-talkie.

  
"I guess for them it's natural to live apart." Misato guessed.

  
"I didn't really think he'd actually be living alone! " Misato exclaimed after hearing Shinji's housing assignment.

  
"Yes. He'll be living on the sixth block after this one. Is that ok?" The NERV employee stated.

  
"Yes." Shinji said.

  
"Shinji...are you sure about that?" Misato asked.

  
"Living alone is fine with me. I mean, I'm always alone anyways."

  
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" Ritsuko yelled into the phone upon hearing Misato's plans.

  
"Yeah! You heard me. I said I'll be taking Shinji home tonight to live with me! It's already been approved! And don't worry, I'm not gonna try to make any moves on him."

  
"YOU BETTER NOT! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN SAYING? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, IF I FIND OUT ANYTH-" Ritsuko lectured before Misato abruptly ended the call.

  
"Uh, don't worry about her! She just can't take a joke!"

  
After a trip to the grocery store, Misato pulled up to her apartment complex.

  
"Your stuff should've been delivered here already. And fair warning, the apartment's a little messy. I just moved here myself a few weeks ago."

  
Shinji stepped inside and was immediately greeted with piles of garbage bags and empty beer cans and bottles strewn all over the place.

  
"This is...a little messy?" He questioned.

  
"Just put the stuff in the fridge!" Misato yelled from the other room.

  
Shinji opened the fridge. It was barren, except for a half melted bag of ice, which he summarily moved to the freezer, and too many cans of beer to count.

He noticed another, much smaller fridge on the other side of the room.

  
"What's in the other fridge?" He called out.

  
"Oh, don't worry about that! He's still sleeping!"

  
Misato pulled several instant ramen cups from the fridge, and Shinji watched in...disgust? Intrigue? Morbid curiosity? He wasn't sure, but he watched Misato warm up all the cups of ramen nonetheless.

  
She sat them down on the table, and retrieved a can of beer from the fridge.

  
"Let's eat!" She declared.

  
"Yeah..let's eat..." Shinji echoed.

  
Misato chugged a third of her can of beer within ten seconds, proceeding to say that it's always better to eat with company than alone.

  
"Ok." Shinji responded.

  
"What's the matter?"

  
"I'm...just not used to this kind of food."

  
"Don't be so finicky! I like it, anyway."

  
As soon as Misato finished speaking, a penguin popped out of the smaller fridge on the other side of the room.

  
"Uh...what's that?"

  
"Oh, this is Pen Pen! He's a hot water penguin I adopted from my last job at a research lab." She explained, hoisting Pen Pen into her lap.

  
"Ok."

  
"And remember, this is your home now, so feel free to take advantage of everything here! Except for me, of course!"

  
"Uh, ok."

  
"Ok, yes, ok, yes, ok, yes, ok, yes...is that all you can say? You're a teenage boy, why don't you act like one!?" Misato chided.

  
"Uh..."

  
"Well, I guess this is just how you are...hey, you know what'll make you feel better? A bath! Bathing cleanses the body and soul!"

  
Ritsuko stood on the control bridge with Gendo. She clutched her clipboard. The lights were off; the glass was still shattered from Unit 00's activation experiment.

  
"So how was Rei today? Did you visit her in the hospital?" Ritsuko inquired.

"She will be able to pilot again in twenty days. After that, we will reactivate Uni 00."

  
"This is such a demanding job, for children especially..."

  
"Adults cannot pilot Evas. You know that as well as I do. As long as they're alive, that's what they must do."

  
Shinji laid on his side in bed. He was listening to his fifth generation iPod, which he had gotten for his birthday a few years ago.

  
Misato was in the bathtub, the water still running and threatening to overflow the tub. She was talking to Ritsuko on the phone.

  
"After what happened the other day I don't think he'll pilot again." Misato said.

  
"Maintaining his motivation is part of your job as his handler!" Ritsuko reminded.

  
"I just don't know how I'll do it."

  
"Complaining already? Now, if I recall correctly, it was your idea to let him live with you, wasn't it?" 

  
"OH SHUT UP!" Misato barked, proceeding to hang up.

  
Images of the angel flashed in Shinji's mind, the the sound of its footsteps, then the feeling of being blasted through the head. 

  
He remembered Unit 01 completely taking over after a certain point. He can't remember what she did, exactly, but it seemed to both worry and impress Ritsuko and the others.  
Then Unit 01's head fell off, and he remembered seeing a very large and very shiny green eye frantically look around until it settled on his face.

  
Misato pulled his door open.

  
"Shinji, you did something very good and very important the other day. You should be proud." She said quietly before pushing the door shut again.


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright y'all I know it's been like a month since I posted the first chapter but like. I'm a full time student and one of my majors is creative writing. I'm also doing a writing challenge for another fandom so needless to say I'm doing a metric fuckton of writing rn so updates for this may very well continue to be slow.

Shinji awoke with a start.  
White tiles. Light shining in from the window to his left.  
He was in the hospital.  
He sighed.   
Misato and Ritsuko stood behind a chain link fence.  
"The damage was much more extensive that I could've predicted with his impressive sync levels." Ritsuko said.  
Unit 01's busted head was being forklifted.  
Misato nodded in agreement.  
"I never would've guessed he'd end up in the hospital so soon after getting here..." Misato lamented.  
"He's going to be very hesitant to pilot again..you do realize that, right?"  
"Yeah."  
"You've been designated as his handler during his time at NERV. You need to take that job seriously." Ritsuko chastised.  
"I know, I know."  
Meanwhile, Gendo sat at a table in a dimly lit room with the rest of Seele's men.  
They explained that disasters come without warning; "It's the very nature of disasters." They told him.   
"Now that the angels have become common knowledge, NERV must take steps to control the way in which this knowledge is received by the general public." One of them said.  
"It's already been taken care of." Gendo responded.  
Misato and Ritsuko were now on break. Misato sat in a folding chair under a tent, fanning herself. Ritsuko stood nearby, sorting papers.  
Misato flipped from channel to channel on the old CRT TV searching for something more entertaining than the same spokesperson covering the attack from the other day.  
"I guess we're covering up the truth again." Misato said.  
"At least the PR people are happy. They finally have something to do." said Ritsuko.  
"And at least you don't have to deal with their complaining anymore! They're acting so casual about it; they must be well trained."  
"Everyone at NERV is scared, including them." Ritsuko corrected.  
"Were NERV and Eva 01 used efficiently?" One of Seele's men asked Gendo.  
"Unit 01's repair costs and Unit 00's construction costs are outrageous. Enough to bankrupt several country's economies." Another one said.  
"We also know you gave Unit 01 to your own son."  
"How much more time, money, and manpower will you cost us?"  
"The human instrumentality project must remain your ultimate priority." The one at the end of the table reminded.  
"I understand very well that mankind has no time left." Gendo agreed.  
Shinji stood in the hallway outside his hospital room. He was staring out the window, absent-mindedly looking at the mountainside, until the clatter of a door opening and worn out wheels scraping across the floor ripped him from his trance.  
A nurse was rolling Rei through the hallway. As the gurney passed Shinji, he noticed Rei's uncovered left eye was fixated on him, the rest of her face making an expression he couldn't parse.  
Ritsuko and Misato were now being driven back to NERV in one of NERV's vans. RItsuko's phone rung.  
She talked for a few minutes, then hung up.  
"Shinji's woken up." She informed Misato.  
"How's he doing?"  
"Well, his memory seems a tad muddled..."  
"Is it contamination?!" Misato exclaimed.  
"You're way ahead of yourself. Contamination is a worst case scenario. In any case, if that does happen, it'll be me who'll have to deal with that, not you."  
"You're right. He did have a pretty hectic day, after all."  
"It's difficult to not feel sorry for him. I know his cerebellum took a lot of stress."  
Misato looked out the window. She could still see various parts of Unit 01 being forklifted.  
"Hey, if the Evas and the city operate at their full potential, we might make it out of this unscathed!" Misato said, turning around.  
"You're such an optimist."  
"Hey! Sometimes you need a little wishful thinking just to get through the day!"  
"I see your point. It's nice to know someone has a positive attitude around here."  
Misato picked Shinji up from the hospital.  
"We're headed back to NERV to get your living arrangements straightened out." She told Shinji.  
They stood on the first floor, waiting for the elevator.  
When the elevator opened, there stood Gendo Ikari.  
Gendo's eyes widened ever so slightly, and Shinji turned his head away.  
Gendo averted his gaze to the elevator buttons, mashing one that would take him upwards to another floor.  
"They don't want to live together?" Ritsuko questioned through Misato's walkie-talkie.  
"I guess for them it's natural to live apart." Misato guessed.  
"I didn't really think he'd actually be living alone! " Misato exclaimed after hearing Shinji's housing assignment.  
"Yes. He'll be living on the sixth block after this one. Is that ok?" The NERV employee stated.  
"Yes." Shinji said.  
"Shinji...are you sure about that?" Misato asked.  
"Living alone is fine with me. I mean, I'm always alone anyways."  
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" Ritsuko yelled into the phone upon hearing Misato's plans.  
"Yeah! You heard me. I said I'll be taking Shinji home tonight to live with me! It's already been approved! And don't worry, I'm not gonna try to make any moves on him."  
"YOU BETTER NOT! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU EVEN SAYING? I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU, IF I FIND OUT ANYTH-" Ritsuko lectured before Misato abruptly ended the call.  
"Uh, don't worry about her! She just can't take a joke!"  
After a trip to the grocery store, Misato pulled up to her apartment complex.  
"Your stuff should've been delivered here already. And fair warning, the apartment's a little messy. I just moved here myself a few weeks ago."  
Shinji stepped inside and was immediately greeted with piles of garbage bags and empty beer cans and bottles strewn all over the place.  
"This is...a little messy?" He questioned.  
"Just put the stuff in the fridge!" Misato yelled from the other room.  
Shinji opened the fridge. It was barren, except for a half melted bag of ice, which he summarily moved to the freezer, and too many cans of beer to count.  
He noticed another, much smaller fridge on the other side of the room.  
"What's in the other fridge?" He called out.  
"Oh, don't worry about that! He's still sleeping!"  
Misato pulled several instant ramen cups from the fridge, and Shinji watched in...disgust? Intrigue? Morbid curiosity? He wasn't sure, but he watched Misato warm up all the cups of ramen nonetheless.  
She sat them down on the table, and retrieved a can of beer from the fridge.  
"Let's eat!" She declared.  
"Yeah..let's eat..." Shinji echoed.  
Misato chugged a third of her can of beer within ten seconds, proceeding to say that it's always better to eat with company than alone.  
"Ok." Shinji responded.  
"What's the matter?"  
"I'm...just not used to this kind of food."  
"Don't be so finicky! I like it, anyway."  
As soon as Misato finished speaking, a penguin popped out of the smaller fridge on the other side of the room.  
"Uh...what's that?"  
"Oh, this is Pen Pen! He's a hot water penguin I adopted from my last job at a research lab." She explained, hoisting Pen Pen into her lap.  
"Ok."  
"And remember, this is your home now, so feel free to take advantage of everything here! Except for me, of course!"  
"Uh, ok."  
"Ok, yes, ok, yes, ok, yes, ok, yes...is that all you can say? You're a teenage boy, why don't you act like one!?" Misato chided.  
"Uh..."  
"Well, I guess this is just how you are...hey, you know what'll make you feel better? A bath! Bathing cleanses the body and soul!"  
Ritsuko stood on the control bridge with Gendo. She clutched her clipboard. The lights were off; the glass was still shattered from Unit 00's activation experiment.  
"So how was Rei today? Did you visit her in the hospital?" Ritsuko inquired.  
"She will be able to pilot again in twenty days. After that, we will reactivate Uni 00."  
"This is such a demanding job, for children especially..."  
"Adults cannot pilot Evas. You know that as well as I do. As long as they're alive, that's what they must do."  
Shinji laid on his side in bed. He was listening to his fifth generation iPod, which he had gotten for his birthday a few years ago.  
Misato was in the bathtub, the water still running and threatening to overflow the tub. She was talking to Ritsuko on the phone.  
"After what happened the other day I don't think he'll pilot again." Misato said.  
"Maintaining his motivation is part of your job as his handler!" Ritsuko reminded.  
"I just don't know how I'll do it."  
"Complaining already? Now, if I recall correctly, it was your idea to let him live with you, wasn't it?"   
"OH SHUT UP!" Misato barked, proceeding to hang up.  
Images of the angel flashed in Shinji's mind, the the sound of its footsteps, then the feeling of being blasted through the head.   
He remembered Unit 01 completely taking over after a certain point. He can't remember what she did, exactly, but it seemed to both worry and impress Ritsuko and the others.  
Then Unit 01's head fell off, and he remembered seeing a very large and very shiny green eye frantically look around until it settled on his face.  
Misato pulled his door open.  
"Shinji, you did something very good and very important the other day. You should be proud." She said quietly before pushing the door shut again.


End file.
